False Prophet Projection

"we create who we are."

next show: 2.28 Austin, TX @ Chess Club with Magic Rockers of Texas and The Stacks recent shows: played Radio Bean in Burlington, VT with Lily Seabird and Emerald Ground Water. And Tubby’s Kingston, NY with Storey Littleton. Magical Nights. more show updates soon.

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I was told to look at the sun every morning for about 10 minutes—not directly at it, obviously, but close enough to make my eyes flutter. This dose of vitamin D is necessary for those who get the blues. I think this advice came from some “high T” internet preacher who also recommends sunning your balls. Which, I can’t say, isn’t beneficial for those who carry. Regardless, this feels like sound advice. I do feel better.

I made a new friend—M, we will call them. It’s harder to make new friends as you get older—the ones you actually call, get a drink with, go thrifting with. I speak to M for hours—mostly about songwriting. The types of lyrics we like, philosophies on how to approach a song, how to kindly write a spiteful song, how to not over-inflict your bullshit, how to make it easy for the listener to think of themselves. We aren’t really speaking about songwriting—we’re speaking about relating to others.

M sees signs everywhere. They swear there’s a reason we met—a sure sign they should move to NY and make music together. They follow where the signs lead and commit to being where they should. I stumble randomly and make excuses for not taking chances. If I’m looking for a sign in this new friendship, it’s that M is teaching me to take more chances.

I booked a ticket to Mexico City, where I’ll be meeting a friend for her birthday this February. I couldn’t really afford this, but it forced me to sell an old guitar and take on freelance work—just to afford the flights. I’ve always wanted to explore Mexico City. The opportunity presented itself. Take it. It’s a sign. Or maybe not… but how comforting to look at it that way.

I’m 33—not a young woman, a woman already. But I can still learn. Biologically, I’ve felt a shift. This feeling of only having a few years left of responsibility to myself has started to make me move differently. If I have a child one day, it will be harder. I’d like to put out great work before then—a few full albums. Ones that give the listener something real to take with them.

I don’t aim to write political songs, but it seeps in. Playing live is doing—so that makes me feel good. I’m sharing an experience, maybe a uniting feeling. That’s all. And connection—that, in itself, is an active protest. But I can do more. I’m figuring out what.

On the inauguration day of Trump, I was working on a song called Thirst. The final words came to me. I swallowed my anger to avoid projecting rage at my boyfriend and spit the feeling into these verses:

we’ve been recording hard ——-

Thirst——

folks like you dig all around

All around

And never know

We create who we are

Never know

—-I am not your old man’s words

I am not a holy war

Kiss me hard until it hurts

I won’t be your only thirst

—-Did you let life make love a chore

gods alarm cries, a hot needle

She can’t bear to bear more evil

they’ll never know

for what I’m made

never know

—-I am not your old man’s words

I am not a holy war

Kiss me hard until it hurts

I won’t be your only thirst

only thirst

——I think they’ve poisoned us

Dopamine sick, rot

So easy we forgot

We create who we are

—-Don’t you let them make love a chore

Don’t you let them

Those who fall for a political candidate so deeply that it becomes their identity, I believe, are projecting personal regrets onto an “other.” They make a hero out of Trump—most likely, they are in financial distress or feel deep loneliness and can’t bring themselves to confront the why. An epic distraction, Trump is. Will they wake up and see that their problems are still unconfronted? That he never cared?

But how much do we talk before we do? Most moderate people see we’re being pitted against each other—we’re more informed than any other generation. So what do we DO with this information? I can’t watch another documentary exposing the layered corruption, the web of obvious bullshit the kids on the left have been theorizing over joints since there were joints to smoke. And before that, over bathtub gin. At some point, we have to do something or not do. Honestly—maybe it’s not to vote. If there were a mass exodus of voting, what would that do? I’m not saying that’s the answer, but any action is better than the fallacy of online, social class activism.

Anyway, Other than Bernie, I don’t believe in anyone politically. The Democrats can be just as bad as the right… maybe not as often, but I can’t believe in choosing a side anymore. They all want to keep us distracted with internet beef so we don’t look at class. Class is the problem. And of course the feminine—not simply women, but the feminine. Anyone who allows it to come through. They are scared of it, which only shows her divine power.

I can control only this:

To become what I want, of my choosing. That’s self-responsibility. The idea that we create who we are rather than find who we are is helpful to me. Becoming a blank slate is attractive—ridding yourself of old ingested trash or the genetic weight you carry. Knowing that authenticity isn’t real - that’s for objects you can’t afford. We aren’t born artful, we create her. Find your genuine nature, and remember—they win if you let their ruthless world shape your identity. Be kind to those who have yet to learn this.

love, Raybody (KR)

P.S. I’ll post a voice memo of “thirst” soon. also you may know the interview I stole the idea of “creating” yourself vs “finding” …. props. comment if so.

had to leave a selfie because i suck 2… <3